Tough Question #1 (Answered)

Question:  How do you stay happy when you don’t feel loved (by people around you) and how do you love others that are hard to love.

Focused.  Who are these “people” that make us feel that way.

  • Friends at school.
  • Parents.
  • People you want to notice you…that don’t notice you.

Biblical References:

  • Mark 12:28-31 – The great commandment (As God asks us to love Him like this, we often forget that God love for us fits in this commandment as well.  God would never ask us to do something He doesn’t already do.)
  • John 10:10 – Satan is the great liar

Approach:

  • We need to approach these feelings by looking for the truth in the situation
  • 1.  Many times our feelings are wrong.
    • What we feel is not the truth of the situation.  Example:  We may feel that EVERYONE is mean to us when only a few people have made unloving choices.  These are called Absolutes.  This is when we say words that are exaggerated to prove a point.  Sometime Satan can lie to us and make us feel that EVERYONE is mean…when that is not the truth.
  • 2.  Sometimes our feelings are right.
    • Sometimes relationships are hard.  There may be situations where our best friend is angry with us and doesn’t want to be our friend anymore because of something I did…or even because of who I am.  These are true situations that can be proven.

Questions:

  1. How do you notice a lie from Satan?
    1. Satan’s lies usually force us to start using absolutes.  When we feel unloved by a large group of people or very specific people and we use absolutes to describe our situation…we need to pause and ask ourselves if that is true.
  2. How do you fight this lie from Satan?
    1. Once you recognize that you have believed this lie you need to:
      1. Confess to Jesus the lie you believed
      2. Remember your identity as a child of God if you have given your life to Jesus
      3. Then ask yourself WHY you feel this way.  Usually your absolute statement, though probably wrong, is stemmed from some truth or hurt feelings somewhere.  Once you discover that then you need to battle take the real issues to the people they involve to restore the relationship (if possible).
  3. How do you know when your feelings are true?
    1. Usually extreme situations.  Physical abuse, Emotional abuse.
    2. These can also be unhealthy relationships. (we used the example of the movie, “Mean Girls.”  This is the definition of unhealthy relationships)
  4. How do you find hope during this dark time (feelings)?
    1. First realize that when Jesus calls us to “love our neighbor as our self” he is not saying that we need to be friends with everyone.  Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is respectfully not be their friend.
    2. Also, this is the importance of Christian Community.  When your friends have the same core values it is the best foundation for lasting friendships that can work out hard times.

How do you love others:

  • God has loved us in our darkest moments and he tells us that we need to love everyone.
  • Loving everyone does not mean being friends with everyone.
  • If someone is DIFFERENT, remember that you were once different in Jesus’ eyes and that’s why he died.
  • If someone is selfish, lovingly and carefully not be their friend.
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